My Thoughts

a collection of things I thought about, or things I thought were worth sharing

OK. They’re ready for you, dad.

November 21, 2016

We woke up early from a rough night’s sleep. We had gone to the hospital the night before worried that an elevated heart rate and headaches were a sign of a worsening “mild preeclampsia”. It was time to get that baby OUT! We had waited patiently for 9 long months and the day had finally come. We were scheduled to go in for the operation at 12:30. After checking in to Winnie Palmer Hospital for Women & Babies, we waited in the waiting room for a few agonizing hours to hear Allison’s name called.

Once they called her back, they started the pre-op procedures and the nerves started to set in. There are so many what-if’s going into a C-section, and I was starting to get really nervous running them all through my mind. After administering an epidural which looked REALLY painful and verifying that it had taken effect, they whisked Allison away into the operating room.

I was left alone until they came in with an oversized pair of scrubs, a shower cap, a mask, and some cloth boots that didn’t even come close to fitting over the top of my size 13 4-E shoe.They went and got a pair of the “doctor boots” for me and I was told to sit and wait again. The minutes really started to creep by at this point. Thinking I had been forgotten, I watched countless nurses and caravans of proud new parents ferrying their newborn babies up to the room they would recover in.Some time went by, and someone emerged from the operating room, motioning for me to come in. “OK, they’re ready for you, dad”. I started walking towards the operating room, shaking a bit.

The first thing i noticed when I walked through the doors was the number of people in the room! It was full of nurses and doctors, with my fiancee on the table and 2 foot tall curtain set up over her stomach where they were operating, blocking she and I from seeing what was going on. I would later discover accidentally how important it is for us dads to stay behind the curtain. They were operating on her before I got in, and no one looked up for a second when I walked in. The doctors seemed calm, but determined, and there was an unforgettably pungent aroma in the air. The mask did little to shield us from it and we didn’t dare ask what it was caused by. That one stays with you

There was a chair set up next to Allison so I could sit next to her and rub her head, hold her hand, and try to keep her relaxed. She did so amazing. In fact, she has been so incredibly strong throughout this pregnancy that I know for a fact there is nothing she couldn’t accomplish. She was put here to be a mother and I am lucky to have her for it.

While the doctors were operating, they were pushing, pulling, and shoving Allison’s body around and the expression on her face said it all. It looked like they were pulling her insides out! After a lot of commotion, we eventually hear one quick little cry. We knew exactly what we had heard! “Was that her?!” She was really quiet after that and still behind the big blue curtain, so I had to stand up to investigate. I saw her being handed over to the nice ladies on the side of the room who are responsible for taking care of the baby in its first moments of life, and cleaning her up a little bit.

After a few minutes, the nice ladies who were taking care of the baby called me over and I walked over to the little table where my daughter laid. She was so quiet, but moving just fine. I kept asking them “is the OK?” “Is she healthy?” and they re-assured me that she was doing great. They could sense that I wanted to be closer to her and said that I could touch her so i sheepishly reached out to her and poked her little hand with my finger. She grabbed my finger with her whole hand and that’s when the tears started. After a few seconds I was the one weeping like a baby. She has had me wrapped around her finger ever since. The doctors took good care of Allison and she is making a quick recovery. The baby is very healthy so far and her new pediatrician is very happy with her progress.

We can’t wait to see what the future holds.

7 days and counting

Preparing to be a father is definitely one of the scariest things I’ve ever had to do, despite what I’ve been telling my fiancee. A little over a year ago, I was lucky enough to find myself in a relationship with a beautiful woman with a cool little stepson. I am lucky to have these two in my life and they have made the transition into parenting much easier.

I have been finding myself staring off into the distance sometimes thinking about what it’s going to be like.

Will she be healthy?

Will she be happy?

Will we be able to afford everything we need if I stop freelancing during after hours to spend more time with my family?

Will I be able to improve my lifestyle and fitness so that the rest of my family doesn’t end up as unhealthy as I am?

All of these things can really eat you up if you let them, but as soon as you take one look at the baby’s little shoes you know that everything is going to be OK. You have a little companion on the way. She is going to need you for EVERYTHING. You will be her world. She will never turn her back on you.

That feeling of worry quickly turns to a feeling of thankfulness. You are blessed.

The pregnancy has been a wild ride. A true test of patience. We have persevered through a miserable european cruise line, several hospital visits, nasty nurses, pregnancy complications, asthma, and a kid who brings home every single illness that passes through his charter school. All of this has only made my beautiful new little family that much stronger. Our daughter Olivia is already a fighter. I can’t wait to meet her.

7 days and counting…